Respect at Work
|Posted on 27 April, 2020 at 1:15|
I am one of the lucky ones - I am feeling quite comfortable with this ISO situation. I was already used to working from home and thanks to the promise of Job Keeper lessening the pressure of no current income, I have been enjoying myself, upgrading some on-line qualifications, embracing morning yoga and just staying home with plenty of pleasant distractions.
I have gratitude and know that I am lucky to feel this way, it is a much different situation for many others; I have not had to fear for my health or grieve a loved one, I am able to pay my bills and feed my family and I am safe and loved in my isolation.
There is certainty that this will end - when is a question that none of us can answer - but it will end and what then?
I find myself thinking about what our new post pandemic normal might look like. I imagine people coming back together in workplaces and social settings, each with their own story of sacrifice and hardship. Every story will be significant to that person and their family and no one story can or should be compared to another. For the parties living their story, any hardship suffered is theirs and will be significant to them, it should not be judged or lessened by another's.
I imagine a situation not dissimilar to high schoolers coming back to school after the Christmas break. Some may have kept in touch, others may have completely isolated, choosing to stay away from social media. Some friendships may fall back into easy comfort and companionship, others may be awkward or distant. Employees who previously embraced and rolled with change may now be anxious and vice versa. There is a potential for gossip to increase, new cliques to form and feelings of paranoia and distrust to heighten.
Some workplaces have been able to easily transition to working from home and regular zoom catch ups, providing support, security and transparency to their employees. Others have not been so lucky, there will be employees who have felt unsupported by their workplace during the period of isolation and there will be employees faced with uncertainty about the future of their employment and their path going forward.
In our 'new workplace normal' the importance of putting people first has never been as important. Creating mentally safe workplace environments will be crucial, prioritising communication and transparency (as much as possible) is going to be paramount to maintaining positive workplace cultures.
Thankfully, there are many resources appearing to assist and support workplaces through this time, this is the time to research, prioritise and implement. Here are a couple of links worth looking at:
|Posted on 1 April, 2020 at 23:45|
I'm also spending way too much time on FaceBook, I'm there for the humour and the positive stories (of which there are so many) but I'm also reading the stories of frustration, fear and disrespect. It's a tough time for everyone right now, everyone is travelling their own journey and feeling the impact. In the days, weeks and months to come I intend to practice peace and love, because with all the uncertainty in the World, that's what I have to give.
|Posted on 4 March, 2020 at 13:15|
This Sunday (8 March) is International Women's Day (IWD), what a great reminder to celebrate us as women and applaud all our successes and achievements. Today I was privileged to speak at a lunch of amazing business women, so for this blog I am sharing some of that speech.
The theme for IWD 2020 is #Each for Equal, so quoting straight from the IWD website:
'An equal world is an enabled world.
Individually, we're all responsible for our own thoughts and actions - all day, every day.
We can actively choose to challenge stereotypes, fight bias, broaden perceptions, improve situations and celebrate women's achievements.
Collectively, each one of us can help create a gender equal world.
Let's all be #EachforEqual.'
I love this picture of the first IWD march in New York in 1911, I made the decision to not speak about the timeline of IWD and all of the past milestones today but please do your own historical research because our journey is full of brave set-backs and victories.
Today I spoke about bias and of our role to challenge bias and stereotypes in our workplaces and in society.
Many years ago, I started an apprenticeship as the only female in a workplace. I was 19 y/o and feeling great, being the only female didn’t concern me, I hadn’t even really thought about it… until… the day that I found the betting book that contained the odds for every one of the 20 male staff as to who would sleep with me and when. I was also told (often) by management that I would never be as good as the boys.
I never spoke up, not once – I fought a silent fight, worked hard and won best first year apprentice – but still I was never truly equal. In fact, I was told that I had only managed good marks because females find study easier – still I said nothing.
I think of stories of other women. A friend of mine (also the sole female in her team) fought for her acceptance by baking and cleaning. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this and I applaud muffins and cakes made by someone else but looking through a gender bias lens I couldn’t help but cringe whenever she talked about it.
So please, take a second to think about any gender stereotypes at your workplace.
Who takes the tea-towels home to wash?
Are there mugs like these proudly displayed? Do you take pride in being known as the ‘bitch’, ‘gossip’, ‘drama queen’, is it a badge of honour?
What are your conversations like?
We are all capable of falling into bias traps, our minds take shortcuts to where stereotypes are the default. But do you challenge stereotypes and call out gender bias? If you hear a female colleague referred to as a bitch do you ask would a male be referred to in the same way?
At some point in my journey I realised that to do and say nothing I was in fact condoning the bias, and as a teacher, a daughter, a mother I have a responsibility to strive for the equal, non-biased future I believe in.
Being aware of bias, however, is not enough, we need to recognise, stop and challenge stereotypical beliefs and actions. So, congratulations to everyone who actively practices being a great ally, building each other up and encouraging respectful collaboration and support.
Equality for women in the workplace has come a long way but I think we can and should always challenge ourselves to do more.
When we look at the past we might think ‘what were they thinking’; my mum surprised me a while back, there was something on the tv about the #me too movement and mum suddenly said ‘oh, why are they all making such a fuss now’, ‘this was years ago, what does it matter?’. I nearly fell off the chair, I guess I had just assumed that my mum, who was part of a generation that had to leave work once she was married and had few rights, would get it. But when we talked, I think she was somehow blind to the issue and impact of sexual harassment. So, I wonder what might we be blind to today? What are the things that we accept that future generations will be shocked at?
Yes, we’ve come a long way and that is cause for celebration, but as women, let’s be advocates for ourselves and our female co-workers, not just for IWD but every day. And as people of all genders let’s challenge ourselves to be better allies, let’s practice building each other up and encouraging respectful, collaboration and support.
Because we’re all responsible for our workplace culture and we all have a part to play in the fight for a better more inclusive society.
|Posted on 6 February, 2020 at 23:35|
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
I sometimes forget to respect myself. I forget to celebrate achievements; I wallow in frustrations and bring myself down. Rather than celebrate the great contract I've just received or the project I'm working on, I obsess about the phone call I'm waiting for.
Rather than feeling awesome after the long walk I went on before work and the healthy eating I've been doing all week, I beat myself up for the jar of peanut butter I've snacked on ALL afternoon.
I also don't always respect my family, to respect someone is to value them and to not judge and some days I'm just not great at this. I make sarcastic comments, I groan and talk about them behind their back.
To respect someone is to listen to them and accept their individuality, I don't always listen and at times I have disrespected workmates and taken friends for granted.
Wow, I can be disrespectful!
I wish that respect was something once gained and never lost.
I wish that respect (both self-respect and for others) was always easy no matter what mood we might be in.
Respect is not difficult or unattainable, no-one is incapable of giving and receiving respect. We are human and sometimes we need reminders for the little things, showing respect is easy but in our haste to get things done we occasionally put the easy things aside. Respect and kindness are so easy to demonstrate but sometimes they require a little conscious effort. Just as important as the need to praise ourselves when we achieve great results or do something well, is the need to notice when we could have chosen our words or our tone better.
When I give respect, I am happy, when I receive respect, I am happy and confident and when I am in a respectful environment I thrive.
Respect at Work training looks at your workplace, unpacks respect and provides simple reminders to your staff.
Please get in touch if your workplace could benefit from some more respect and kindness
|Posted on 13 January, 2020 at 20:00|
Last November I completed DISC ADVANCED accreditation training and am now a DISC ADVANCED Accredited Consultant - Yay for me
Prior to the training I had just enough DISC knowledge to have my fingers crossed that it would be a useful tool and something I would be comfortable to believe in and confidently use going forward. Happily DISC delivered everything I hoped for and I am excited to start using it.
DISC ADVANCED was specifically designed for the workplace and is described as 'The World’s Most Advanced Behavioural Assessment System', widely used by Australian Business and all levels of Government. A personal bonus for me is that the original 4 Quadrant DISC model was created (in the 1920's) by William Marston who was (amongst other things) the creator of Wonder Woman - you've got to love the lasso of truth!
The 4 quadrants are D = dominance, I = influence, S = steadiness and C = compliance, no one quadrant is any 'better' than the others and individual assessments come back with results that are combinations of the quadrant styles. DISC assessments measure both the subconscious “real self” and the conscious behavioural style, these 2 profiles(real and adjusted) provide enormous self-awareness and potential for self-development for individuals. What I also love about this tool is the further option to look at pair or team assessments, thus providing insights, strengths, challenges and communication strategies.
As an accredited consultant my job is to make sure the results are interpreted correctly and to debrief participants on how they can/should use the results. DISC ADVANCED assessments fit so well to the aim of Respect at Work — to create and maintain safe, fair and peaceful workplace cultures. Please get in touch if you would like to add DISC ADVANCED assessments to your team Respect at Work training or one on one coaching.
|Posted on 22 December, 2019 at 21:00|
Here we are again, the end of another year and this time we have the bonus optimism of a new decade.
For many people this is the time for family, friends and celebrations, for others this time represents something very different and for those people I wish compassion and tolerance and send my respect.
As with everything human, this time of the year is full of contradictions; the stress and pressure of creating 'perfect' happy family memories causes impatience, rudeness and lack of respect to service staff and others marching to the same pressures — that doesn't really make much sense. I was talking to a staff member at my local supermarket and asked her if people are nicer at this time of year, she dramatically rolled her eyes and proceeded to tell me horror stories of impatient shoppers blaming her for any (and every) delay. What is wrong with us that we can treat others in ways that we would never accept for ourselves or for our loved ones?
People appreciate a smile and a few words, no judgement necessary. Respect translates across cultures, generations and all differences; after all, it takes more energy to judge and disrespect than it does to accept and smile.
I wish everyone a safe and happy end of year and all the very best for 2020 - I'm feeling excited - it's going to be a good year
|Posted on 1 December, 2019 at 23:40|
Image by Gabrielle_RRI from Pixabay
The things people get caught up on never cease to amaze me. Words often become an issue when they are attached to the concept of 'political correctness'; that concept itself is then verbalised with invisible air inverted commas " ". The term political correctness defined by Wikipedia is 'used to describe a preference for inclusive language and avoiding language or behaviour that can be seen as excluding, marginalizing, or insulting groups of people considered disadvantaged or discriminated against, especially groups defined by sex or race.' — If this is political correctness, it sounds like a lovely respectful idea to me.
Only a few days ago I was asked 'why does it matter if I say that something is retarded or gay?', After an internal sigh I launched into the 'it matters to anyone who may identify with those attributes if those names are used in a negative way' explanation. Next came the 'if I don't mean it, why should I care if someone is offended?' question - followed by 'words have power', and 'impact not intent' discussions. It is easy to feel judgement to those that think differently to us, for me that may be to judge the racist, homophobic or sexist words or comments of an individual, thinking of them as ignorant or rude. But if we don't provide safe spaces for questions and calm conversations are we not stifling opportunities to break down ignorance? If knowledge is power surely we have an obligation to share it safely and respectfully.
Respect is such a great word; as demonstrated by the number of workplaces with respect as one of their values. It feels like it should be simple to define until people try to explain it. My favourite explanations of respect include; valuing other people, not judging, and kindness to others. Interestingly I have also had conversations with those that don't believe kindness has a place when business decisions need to be made, I personally don't agree but I can see where their perception is coming from. Other words that seem to cause refection at times are; clique, assertiveness and bullying.
Political correctness, respect, kindness, clique, assertiveness, bullying; these are all words that we may interpret depending on our personal histories. What is important is that we keep having conversations. Safe conversations allow us to listen and from active listening comes the human ability to learn (possibly apologise), adapt and move on respectfully.
|Posted on 27 October, 2019 at 17:00|
Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay
Burn-out seems to be a current HR topic and this year the World Health Organisation declared workplace burnout to be an occupational phenomenon. WHO defines workplace burnout as “Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed."
We're just coming out of Work Safe Month where the theme this year has been Safe Bodies, Safe Minds, I attended a few events and the turn out was fantastic. It seems that more organisations are realising that as important as R U OK? Day, Mental Health Week and Stress Down Day are, it's simply not enough to just have one-off events. Mental wellness needs to be part of the organisations DNA.
So how does that happen? How do you move from awareness days to a genuine accepting and inclusive culture where everyone can safely speak up? Unfortunately I guess that for some industries this is easier than others, it shouldn't be but I think it probably is, but that just means that those industries have to try harder to live and breathe safe listening cultures.
I watched an extremely confronting and yet necessary film yesterday — this film has been made for police and I supported my chronic PTSD diagnosed wife through 40 minutes of very hard viewing. The emotions I felt though this film were extreme and this led to much contemplation over the last 24 hours. My contemplation wasn't just about emergency service workers; dangerous situations and emotional demands are part of many industries. For the person living with the stressors, the seriousness of the pressure to meet demands is not measured by one industry against another. The workplace stressors for the Police Officer, the aged care worker, or, the apprentice electrician might differ but all are potentially dangerous for that individual.
In those industries where time off more than likely equals staff shortages and those staff shortages equal potentially dangerous situations, how much extra pressure does that apply? When just the 'normal' pressures of a job involve human trauma and tragedy (but it's 'just' part of the job), and those pressures start to seep into your subconscious how do accept/admit you are struggling? How do you recognise when you are affected in an industry where you have to be strong and in control? How do you speak up and ask for help knowing that your colleagues have the same experiences? How do you have a voice when those in power condemn you for being weak? How do you not make mistakes? How does that stress not impact every other area of your life?
I guess this film and others like it are a start, but we all HAVE to keep the conversations and the awareness happening. By creating awareness of the mental health risks in any industry, by creating safe and supportive environments where individuals can speak up and get assistance before they need time off, we will create change.
Many individuals still think that speaking up equates to 'being weak' or 'not being good enough', but this isn’t the case at all. Our working world is fast-paced, stressful and often under resourced — it's easy to feel over-whelmed. The first important step (after being brave enough to recognise how you are feeling) is to be open and start having a real conversation with someone you trust. A safe, respectful, accepting and inclusive work culture will provide opportunities for trusted conversation options but this doesn't just happen, this takes work and is a whole workplace commitment.
A safe, respectful, accepting and inclusive work culture can help to create a healthy set of boundaries and strategies for you at work. If you don't know how to create a safe, respectful, accepting and inclusive culture where everyone can safely speak up then ask for help. Respect at Work can talk to you about your workplace situation and help find the strategies you need.
|Posted on 10 October, 2019 at 3:40|
Today is World Mental Health Day and I've made my mental health promise to Help reduce stigma around mental illness to make way for more people to seek help https/1010.org.au/mhp/promise-23843/.
Mental Health is no longer a secret to be kept from the workplace but we still have work to do to make it more visible and to ensure people are safe to disclose if they wish to. Make your own promise here https/1010.org.au/make-a-promise/ and be part of a world-wide movement to improve mental wellbeing in our community. #MentalHealthPromise.
About one in five Australians will experience difficulties with their mental health at some stage of their lives, and if I think of my circle of friends and family there are very few not touched in some way by troubling anxiety, depression, PTSD and other conditions. These conditions can affect how a person feels, thinks, behaves, and interacts with other people on occasions. Workplaces, work processes 'the way we do things here', and colleagues can significantly affect a person’s capacity to continue (and thrive) in employment. Mental health and wellbeing awareness takes away stigma, breaks down barriers and equips us with the tools to understand and have better conversations. It is good to see many workplaces embracing this awareness but we can all do better. Every person you meet is dealing with their own daily journey and for some that journey is easier than others. If today your journey is an easy one, reach out, open your eyes, start a conversation, be present — make a difference.
This infographic from SafeWork Australia gives a great overview of the mental health status in Australia, print it out, email it around the office, start discussions. https/www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/system/files/documents/1901/mental-health-infographic-v2.jpg
|Posted on 24 September, 2019 at 1:05|
Image by John Hain from Pixabay
Incivility is contagious but so is respect
To quote a recent Gartner Survey (June 2019), 'the data reveals that the number one reason employees cite for leaving their job is respect, or lack of it. Respect rose seven places in 1Q19 to become the leading driver of attrition among Australian workers.'
Employees who feel respected in the workplace are happier, more present and more engaged.
Employees who feel disrespected in the workplace are more likely to be resentful, disengaged and looking to take their talents elsewhere.
Training participants often tell me that they demonstrate respect to all clients, regardless of their personal feelings towards that person. They say that they would never disrespect a client - this is to be expected. Customer service is important, and I know that personally a friendly and positive (respectful) exchange from a service provider can leave me smiling. Scientists tell us that smiling can help release our 'happy chemicals' (dopamine and serotonin), or, as my Mum always said; 'a smile tricks your brain into feeling happy’, seeing people happy certainly makes me feel brighter.
So, knowing that smiles are contagious can respect also be? Let's look at the opposite; think of a disagreement that spirals out of control, one person raises their voice, doesn't listen and uses unpleasant words (hmm = disrespects), before you know it the other person is acting the same way. Or, we've all been in situations where our happy vibe is affected by a room full of negativity and misery — so, disrespect CAN be contagious.
Imagine a situation (workplace) where colleagues treat each other well; they pay attention, listen, don't gossip, value opinions and individuality and don't judge - imagine a new person coming into this environment - an environment where they are welcome and supported to be their best selves. In this situation respect becomes the norm, the benchmark for colleagues to measure up to. New employees 'catch' the respectful behaviours thus continuing the respectful environment.
We're all responsible for our workplace behaviour, let's actively engage in and encourage the culture we want to be part of.